An Ode to Bertuzzi


You left us five years ago

For the Floridian sun

My heart is still healing,

The repair is not done.


You have left quite the void,

And some big skates to fill.

Since you left it’s been different,

Not the same kind of skill.


Now the team’s a bit soft,

Full of Swedes and nice fellows.

I miss your huge hits,

Your death glares and your bellows.


At 6’3 you’re a force,

Human hell on wheels.

You’ve lost a bit of weight though,

You should eat some more meals.


You can grow a full beard

Like it’s nobody’s business,

And I think it’s sexy.

Can I please be your mistress?


I’m kidding (well, sort of),

I know that you’re taken,

But if you divorce

Be the eggs to my bacon.


Anyway, I digress.

You’re doing well at the Joe,

You’re nearing 30 points

With many games to go.


So Todd, if it happens

That you tire of the States,

Come back to Vancouver.

We can go on some dates!


Damnit, I’m sorry,

I digressed again.

I guess I can’t help it,

I like scruffy men.


I still wear your jersey

To Canucks-Wings games.

Guess I miss you on the team,

It’s just not the same.


I remember you fondly,

Despite that Steve Moore.

You’re still one of my favourites,

Love Canucksgirl44.

5 Responses to “An Ode to Bertuzzi”

  1. January 4, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    well done.
    i especially enjoyed the last bit.

  2. 2 Cameron
    January 12, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Hi. I’m a Canucks fan, living in the States. Does that sound strange or oxymoronic? I dunno. Having lived in the Northwest my entire life, supporting a regional team only seemed to make sense to me when I started getting into the sport several years ago.

    I don’t care that the team is from another country. I’m not a typical jingoistic, bigoted, xenophobic, nationalistic, American. Seeing as how I deal with such people on a regular basis, I don’t blame the rest of the world for hating my country. As far as if I “love” my country, it depends on the context, because I beyond a doubt, loathe my country’s government.

    Politics aside, just curious as to if most fans would be OK with a Canucks fan from South of the border.

  3. 3 Mel
    January 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    I’m glad I found someone who misses Bertuzzi as much as I do. :)

  4. 4 Canuckism
    January 28, 2011 at 12:11 am

    One of my all-time favourite Canucks…

  5. November 2, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    As a Wings fan much in love with Bertuzzi myself, I have to say that this is one of the most glorious things I have ever read. I came across this poem when I was writing my own post about hot bearded dudes on my fledging blog, and I had to comment on how awesome it is. I know what you mean about the death stares and bellows – I get oddly excited when Bertuzzi gets a penalty (considering it means my team is about to be short-handed) just so I can see his hot pissed-off reaction. Now that’s a man! :P

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: